Coming to Terms
by NymeriaFae
Summary: Elphaba watches as Nessa is swept of her feet and taken out on her first date, while she sits home and muses on her own life prospects


**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do NOT own Wicked. I own only my memories from the show, which I've seen four times now, and the book, which I've lost count of how many times I've read. **

**Author's note: This is the first thing I've ever written for fanfiction. Actually it's the first creative writing I've ever done and I debated posting this cause it seemed embarrassing but I worked up some nerv and pressed the submit button. So here it is **

**P.S. sorry I suck at grammar, and spelling. **

Elphaba stood on the landing at the top of the staircase, a place to see but not be seen as she watched the scene below. A boy stood by the door. He wasn't particularly tall, or especially good looking. In fact if she were being truly honest with herself he had no outstanding qualities whatsoever; he was completely ordinary. She sighed and turned away. Ordinary, something she would never be. People with green skin, she mused to herself, tended to acquire more colorful adjectives: atrocious, obscene, and repulsive just to name a few of her choice favorites.

As the list of descriptive words ran through her head, Elphaba began to think of others that seemed to go hand-in-hand with those previously mentioned. Unwanted, her father had made sure Elphaba knew just what a burden she was to him and was constantly reminding her that she was a stain on the family's previously pristine reputation. From unwanted it wasn't a far jump to unlovable. Elphaba turned back to watch the people crowded around the door. The average looking boy was shaking Frex's hand as he promised to have Nessa back by an appropriate hour, and not a minute later.

Frex chuckled slightly, "So long as my little girl is happy, I'm happy." He said as he cast an adoring look at his youngest daughter. Although bound to a chair there was no denying the beauty that the youngest Thropp girl possessed. She had caramel colored hair that fell like silk to her shoulders, and skin that was pale as cream with cheeks that were kissed by roses.

As Elphaba stood staring at her sister, admiring her pretty features she couldn't help but compare them to her own. Although she was bound to a her wheelchair, had Nessa been able to stand she would have been just the right height to tuck her head under her date's chin; unlike Elphaba whose impressive height was not unheard of but definitely taller than average, too tall for most boys to comfortably put an arm around. And then there was her skin….

Elphaba sighed as she turned around letting her emerald hand brush along the wall as she walked back to her bedroom. She opened the door and headed straight for the windowsill where she spent a good deal of her time. It overlooked the front garden and the long drive up to the governor's mansion, and the endless fields of corn beyond. Elphaba was stared out the window until all the shapes and images of the world beyond began to blur together, like an inexpertly painted watercolor.

She was snapped out of her reverie when she saw two figures heading away from the house. Nessa being pushed by the boy Elphaba had deemed only passable.

Elphaba rarely allowed herself to dwell on "what ifs" and "what could bes" but now she couldn't seem to help herself. It was Saturday night and her younger sister was going out with a boy. Elphaba struggled with herself for a moment, finally deciding that it wasn't the boy she was jealous of it was the fact that Nessa could do something as normal as go on a date despite her abnormalities, for Elphaba longed for nothing more than to be normal.

Elphaba was four when she realized her father hated her, six when she realized adults avoided her, seven when she realized that the children her own age were just as narrow-minded and cruel as their parents, ten when she realized she would never be pretty; and now at seventeen Elphaba realized that she would never go on a date. No one would ever take out the girl everyone called "artichoke" the one people pointed at and some even feared.

She flinched as something wet trickled down her cheek.

"Ugh," Elphaba muttered to herself as she wiped away the offending moisture while cursing the burn it left on her green cheek. She glanced out the window once more not realizing that whilst she wallowed in self-pity the sun had set. Nessa would be returning soon and Elphaba knew she was expected to help her sister get ready for bed, as she had every night since she could remember.

She reached to top of the stairs just as the door opened and quickly ducked down below the banister so as not to intrude upon her sister's private moment.

"I really had a lovely time," Elphaba heard Nessa say.

"Only lovely because I was with you," the boy answered. Elphaba thought she might gag. If a boy ever did ask her out, not the one would, her sarcastic side added, and then said those things to her he would be out on his ass in a clock tick. Elphaba firmly believed in not sugar coating things or over embellishment. Although her stomach rolled she continued to observe, listening despite herself.

"I hope, Miss Nessarose, that you will do me the honor of allowing me to enjoy the presence of your company in the future." He blushed as he said it making Elphaba chuckle, boys…..

Nessa was quick to answer, "I would like that very much," with a blush of her own coloring her pretty cheeks. And then Elphaba watched as the nameless boy leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her sisters perfectly pink lips.

As soon as they broke apart the boy turned to the door and strode out looking extremely pleased with himself.

Nessa was still blushing as Elphaba walked down the stairs towards her.

"Oh Fabala," she gushed as soon as she caught sight of her sister, "wasn't he just wonderful? so kind, and such a gentleman!" Nessa continued completely oblivious to her older sisters internal pain.

As Elphaba pushed her sister towards her bedroom Nessa began to chatter what seemed like endlessly about how "enchanting" and "fantastic" and "romantic" her evening with what's-his-name had been.

Getting Nessa ready for bed seemed to take an eternity to Elphaba. She wondered to herself why unpleasant tasks seemed to take twice as long as bearable ones. It wasn't that she wasn't happy for Nessa, after all even Elphaba knew that first dates were a big deal, something that even green girls dreamed of, though they didn't admit it, it just hurt that she knew she would never experience that rush of joy that came with being asked out, or the way a heart leapt when one was kissed for the first time or Elphaba imagined it would do.

When Nessa was dressed and tucked into her bed Elphaba headed silently back up the stairs to her bedroom and quickly dressed for bed.

As she laid down her thoughts turned again to things she would never have. After seventeen years Elphaba now knew, or thought she knew, for certain she would never be asked out held, or kissed or loved. Her last coherent thought before she fell asleep was that she would live her life alone with her books for company.

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